Dimitra

I joined Capco earlier this year as the Talent Attraction and Inclusion Specialist, a very special role for me that brings together my background, my heart, and essentially myself to work. 

I have recently taken on the Global GenderQueer@Capco Lead role with the hopes to: 

A) make the group more global and advocate for more queer voices within the company, and

B) attract as many allies as possible with the hope to help share experiences and educate not only our colleagues but also their extended families. 

Because, as we know, gender non-conforming people can be our colleagues, our kids, or even our parents. 

I often find myself wondering, “Is there such a thing as looking nonbinary?”  

It’s a question that lingers whenever someone assumes my pronouns, usually based on how I present. Often she/her, perhaps because I have long hair. There’s an unspoken “code” we’re all taught about what femininity should look like. But gender expression isn’t about conforming to codes; it’s about authenticity. And for many of us who identify as nonbinary, gender non-conforming, or trans, navigating that authenticity is both powerful and, at times, exhausting. 

For those who’ve never had to question their gender, it may be hard to fully relate to what it feels like to carry that complexity. To feel unseen, misgendered, or boxed in by language that doesn’t reflect who you are. 

That’s why pronouns matter. 

As Aida Manduley, MSW, a nonbinary therapist and educator, puts it, a nonbinary person is “someone who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman.” It’s an umbrella term, encompassing a wide range of identities that exist beyond the traditional man-woman binary. 

Personally, I identify as both nonbinary and a woman—at least for now. And that’s an important point too: identity isn’t always static. It evolves, just as we do. Some people may use they/them pronouns. Others might go by she/they, he/him, or even a mix depending on where they are in their journey. There’s no single roadmap. No one way to be. No one way to look. 

That fluidity, however, can be hard to explain in environments that aren’t used to nuance, or where assumptions come quickly. I’ve felt that tension in my professional life too. That said, since sharing my pronouns in my email signature and with my close team, I’ve been met with care, respect, and empathy, which I find genuinely hopeful. 

What I’ve learned is this: affirming who we are is one of the most meaningful acts of self-respect we can offer ourselves, and the people around us. Whether at home or at work, creating space for others to show up fully and honestly begins with us doing the same. 

To others on a similar journey, my biggest piece of advice? Seek out partnerships, at work, in friendship, in community, that keep you honest about who you are, where you are, and how you want to be treated.